Oh no! Not again!

I've been thinking about a wonderful woman I met at CTCA last fall. Her name...Katherine. she and I had a lot in common. We spent a great deal of time sharing our cancer journeys and I had the privilege to pray with her. We shared the same oncologist team at the center. She and I had female reproductive type cancers, although the doctors were unsure if she had uterine or ovarian or cervical cancer. Many of the chemo concoctions I had, she had had. But they made her tremendously ill. We tried to arrange our visits to the center at the same time. Unfortunately, she had to get in quicker than her scheduled time or she was often too sick to travel. So I left her a Get Happy and Well basket of goodies for her next visit. Our shared nurse made sure to get them to her. Through the winter, spring and summer, Katherine struggled to get her pain under control. Many visits to local oncologists and hospitals, trips to her beloved beach house, time with friends, children and grandchildren and hospice. I phoned her not long ago and left a message. She did not respond. Her daughter called me Thursday morning (July 31) to tell me that Katherine had passed away in peace earlier that morning. Yes, she is with Jesus now. But she will be dearly missed.

Monday evening at precisely 9:30 pm I grew restless with upper abdomen pains. They were like sharp gas pains. No matter how I lay, they wouldn't subside. Finally about 11 I left our bed and went to the couch so I wouldn't wake Tim. The pain grew worse through the night. I thought maybe it was just painful gas but it didn't seem to move down the intestines. It was pain worth crying for. Tim was up around 5:15 and I told him about my pain and I didn't know what to do. The ER is out of the question, calling my oncologists would probably earn me the response, "you will need to come in to see me". So we waited.

Tim sent out a message for people to pray early Tuesday morning. I had received some free tickets to take David and friends to see "Fire and Rescue" (Planes 2) that day and had been anticipating that surprise for David for nearly 2 months! But I could barely walk upright to the bathroom. So my dear friend, Laura came and picked up David by 8 and Tim tended to me. I called my Onc team at CTCA when they opened just to give them a heads up. they said give it a couple days to see if it subsides. By evening, we had lots of people praying for us and the pain had moved down to my lower abdomen and pelvic area.

Wednesday the pain did not subside but I was able to move around thankfully. I walked around the block with David in hopes that my bowels would work a little better. I started Miralax. I called CTCA and said I really don't want to wait through the weekend because these symptoms feel very familiar...like when I was first diagnosed. So we made plans for me to see Dr. Niu Friday afternoon. The CT scan was scheduled for Friday morning. I had a plane ticket for Thursday night.

Through a prompting of the Holy Spirit and a confirmation through her husband, Laura offered to join me on the trip. I am so thankful she did because it turned out that i needed her help. God knew and God provided!!

My last CT scan was early June -- no visible tumors but tumor marker rising.  This CT scan was the same -- no visible tumors but tumor marker rising, by 100 points. So now they are 1880. It's a number. Is it reliable, Not really. But the trend of the number is something to watch. And now that i am showing more symptoms my options are to repeat the tried and true chemo concoction I had last June-Oct 2013 (6 rounds), or try another chemo concoction which I have no idea how my body will respond, or try an oral chemo pill which makes my feet and hands peel and become very sensitive. Or, do nothing and "call hospice".

Hard decision. I decided on the familiar one with hopes that we could stay on top of the nausea and life would not be too interrupted! Who has time for all this cancer stuff??!

I had my infusion Friday night. I was very drained afterward. Before the infusion, I hadn't been able to eat well since I feel like I swallowed a beach ball - that's how full I feel! The mornings are the hardest because I feel so full I can barely drink all my beloved coffee!

Laura and I left the center Saturday morning. Thank God again for her availability to join me. I was not energetic at all and needed a wheelchair assistance. But then I pushed the wheelchair for a bit to make myself move. Get the bowels going, keep the bowels going...that is of utmost importance for me!

So it's now Sunday and i feel tired but able to move around. I am grateful. I will be returning to the center every 3 weeks for treatment.... at least 3-6 months.

Thank you for your continued prayers. I am always hopeful for God's will to be done in my life!! I do pray that His will is for me to be around to raise David well into his 20s!!! Praising God, because He IS good:-)