I am invincible...

until God says I'm not.

That is something Tim said a lot when we were dating. It has stuck with me. It's so true. Don't we all think "that will never happen to me!" But the unexpected does and then our faith is truly tested. How will I respond to this shocking news?? Will I turn TO or AWAY from God?

I just got news that a fellow CTCA patient died on Saturday. Tim and I met her and her husband in June when we went for our first visit. Annika and Jay live in Utah just 20 minutes west of us. Their parents live a couple blocks from us. Annika and Jay have 5 children between the ages of 5 and 16. Please pray for them. I don't even know what to think. I have so many questions for Jay but not sure how and when or IF I should even ask.

My trip to CTCA last week was loaded with appointments. I  got to meet with a gastroenterologist (GI) who is from Beirut. I tried my rough Arabic hellos and how are you on him and he was surprised. We spoke of Beirut and strangely I was comforted by the fact that we had that part of the world in common. He called to tell me that I have an overgrowth of bacteria in my gut. This may be causing the bloating, gas and constipation. He recommended a very strong and expensive antibiotic. I have to see if our insurance will cover it:-)

My CA125 is up again 869. I have to realize it's just a number. I still feel good praise to God! I also have to accept the fact that --unless God heals me completely from this disease during my life on this earth-- I need to say yes I have cancer and yes I have to do x, y, z in order to manage the symptoms and to try and keep this nasty disease at bay.

Still seeking God for His divine direction...

Highlight of my month -- David says, "I love you brighter than the sun, mommy!"