Chemo #2

Feb 3

Thanks to nurse Dave for taking good care of me and explaining things to me! I appreciate you:-)

I am sitting in the chemo chair right now. It's a very comfortable room with about 15 cushy, leather recliners.  The Power Port has proven to be a great choice vs. IV needles in the arm. A little topical lotion called lidocaine on the Power Port one hour before treatment is sufficient to numb the area where the needle goes in. I was somewhat nervous about that needle prick because the port is still a bit sensitive. But it went in without a pinch – unlike the IV. Praise the Lord!! So they were able to draw some blood without any problem.

We met with the nurse practitioner and she said my blood work looks "good". I remembered to ask, "What does "good" mean?" My white AND red blood cell counts are marginally low but this is expected due to the chemo. The platelets are in the normal range so this gives the Doctor the "green light" for treatment today.  

Now it's chemo time. Needle already in place, I am given preventative "premeds"  --  Benadryl to avoid an allergic reactions, some antibiotic, a histamine, and 1 or 2  anti-nausea drugs. The 1st chemo drug takes 4 hours to administer. The 2^nd chemo drug takes 30 minutes.

"We" came prepared with questions for both the nurse practitioner and the pain mgmt doctor I was seeing today – I really mean that Mom came prepared with questions. She has been my advocate, researcher, and information source, and finder of answers. She has been reading everything she can get her hands on. Everyone needs someone like this because I have not felt like reading ANY thing about cancer. I think many days I am in denial. When I feel good I happily joke around and kinda "forget" that I am as sick as I am. I just don't "feel" that sick. But the days when I do feel the pains there are a lot of tears and sobbing words, "I don't want to be sick".

I have never asked "Why God? or Why Me?" maybe because the question really is, "Why Not Me?" Death is inevitable. Life is a precious present filled with God's grace and mercy - if you accept it. We are all condemned to hell because of our sin against God. God is the Creator of all including our bodies so He makes the rules. I just have to learn what those "rules" are, abide in Christ who helps me obey God and put my trust in the facts, as teacher Beth Moore explains:

   (1) God is who He says He is,

   (2) God can do what He says He can do.

   (3) I am who God says I am.

   (4) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

   (5) God's word is alive and active in me.

Praise the Lord I have put my faith in Jesus and His shedding of blood and death on the cross to "cover" my sins. So when I stand before our Holy God, God sees Jesus and not this sinner. If I died today I rest assured that I will spend eternity with God, the Creator of all. It's intimidating not knowing exactly what that will really look like. BUT….I know we have a loving Father so I can only imagine a glorious place He has established and living in the presence of the Almighty God!

Tim, the Love of my life...so loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, trustworthy,
and self-controlled! Thank you for allowing me to be your wife!
Thank you for being by my side...for better or for worse.
I love you truly.